Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He kissed a someone with a penis
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
