i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
