If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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