As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
