what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
