Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
