Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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