ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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