I wish I could teleport
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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