I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
