I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
