It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
