winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
