I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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