she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
