I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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