Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
