thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
