the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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