You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
