He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
