A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
