Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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