ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
