We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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