The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
