VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
