I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
