Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
