so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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