I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
