i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
