I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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