Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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