the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
