This girl is more easily done than said...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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