Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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