the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
