i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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