I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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