i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
