She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
