Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
