he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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