America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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