hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
