she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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