She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
