you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
