Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do vagina's smell?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
two words...techno handjob
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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